


so find new lifestyle, reason to smile

by HopeNight



Series: a fistful of glitter in the air [13]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Diners, Gen, Genderswap, Rule 63, rule 63!Casey Jones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2313782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeNight/pseuds/HopeNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Casey Jones and Karai walk into an all night diner and share a meal. </p><p>Casey tries to reach out to Karai in her own way.</p><p>In the end, it's all about finding your freedom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so find new lifestyle, reason to smile

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from "God Is A DJ" by P!nk. 
> 
> Sorry! I know it's been over a week. I've been busy with school and stuff. Why? Grad school sucks. Anyway there should be double posting this week because I need to stay on schedule if I want to get the story I got planned from the TMNT Mini-Bang up on time and on schedule. 
> 
> Anyway this work is unbeta'd. I just really wanted to put Casey and Karai together in a room.
> 
> Also Casey talks about her past more. It was stuff I had planned out since the beginning.

It was one in the morning and Casey Jones just wanted some goddamn French toast. 

Her hair was still damp from the shower she took in the Lair. A lucky cut on her arm was bandaged securely. The boys were similarly safe and happy in the Lair doing whatever they did after she left. April was safely walked home to her aunt’s place. 

Casey was in her favorite twenty-four hour greasy spoon of a diner. She didn’t want to deal with evil mutants. She didn’t want to deal with robot aliens. She didn’t want to deal with evil ninjas and lost daughters. 

She didn’t want to deal with the weird that her life had become. She just wanted a moment, one moment, to have control. 

All she wanted was some one in the morning post-fight French toast, bacon, and a cup of terrible weak tea. 

This was all she wanted in her life right now. 

So of course, of course, of all the greasy spoon twenty-four diners in the great city of New York, Karai had to walk into hers.

Casey could feel the groan in her throat. Along with the sudden and understandable need of banging her head against the table until she saw stars. 

Casey wasn’t stupid. She knew that the Shredder knew who she was. She’s had the pleasure of meeting some of his minions and she dismembers his robots with glee. 

Actually, Florence was getting lonely. Maybe she should keep one of those weird arm sickle things next time. 

Long story short, she knew that even if they never met Karai was more than likely aware of her and knew who she was. 

The girl in question’s sharp light brown eyes met Casey’s. Casey held her gaze. 

Karai pursed her own red painted lips before joining Casey at her table. 

Before she could speak, however, Casey spoke. 

“Look I know that you’re going to say that you want to kill me and all that stuff. But you seem like a reasonable kind of girl. All I want is some French toast and a chance to sleep for like five hours. Unless you and your guys want to deal with the Kraang. And I figure you don’t because Rahzar is an ass and Fishface is annoying. So I’m thinking you don’t want to be around either of them for any longer then you need to be. So let me just eat my terrible diner food and we can call it a night. And I can pencil you in for attempted murder or assault tomorrow.” 

Karai blinked in surprise. Obviously the kunoichi was not expecting that kind of response. Casey felt slightly proud. This was she enjoyed being blunt sometimes. It threw people off guard beautifully. 

Of course what Karai said next threw Casey totally off guard. Mainly due to the fact that Casey’s life always seemed to go like that. You get the upper hand for like a minute then the next thing that happens is a total mind screw. 

“Alright,” said the other girl. 

“Seriously?” asked Casey in shock. She probably should not look so shocked. But this was just screwing with her. 

“Honestly Jones right?” At Casey’s dumbfounded nod, Karai continued. “Honestly Jones I just came here for something to eat as well. I miss a lot about Tokyo and Japan, but I have to admit that these places are pretty great. Besides Rahzar was getting on my nerves as well. You know how he is.” 

“An asshole,” supplied Casey absentmindedly. She was considering the fact that whatever had sliced was poisoned or gave her tetanus and now she was hallucinating. It beat the fear shrooms by a mile but she didn’t want to talk to an imaginary pink elephant in the morning. 

“Pretty much,” smirked Karai. “I’m not really in the mood to fight myself tonight.” 

Casey steeped her weak hot cup of Lipton more and looked at Karai with a raised eyebrow. 

“Really now?”

“Right now all you’re doing is destroying Foot Bots, harassing our hired muscle, and being a pain in the ass to some pains in the ass. I have no love for my father’s lieutenants. Besides the more of ass you make them, then the better I looked when I finally nail you and the turtles as the date of my father’s return comes closer.”

“Shredder’s not in the city?”

“He had some business back home and left me in charge for the moment. Which is why I’m at this place at one in the morning instead of back at our base.”

It made sense to Casey. Shredder, according to all testimony, was the kind of guy to keep people on a short leash. If this was Karai’s way of getting some freedom then who was she to judge?

“You do realize that I don’t trust you.”

“Naturally,” Karai said with a predatory grin. “And I to you. Still we can at least break bread together.”

Casey realized when she was stuck. She added some sugar to her tea and stirred, “French toast is pretty good.”

“Really?”

“Wouldn’t go for the pie. Pretty sure that’s been here since the Carter administration,” said Casey, repeating an old joke of her father’s.

Karai raised an eyebrow at that, “Pretty sure that’s joke older then the Carter administration.”

“It’s a classic. And of course not. It’s at least as old as the first Bush administration, Karai. Duh,” joked Casey with a smirk.

The girl gave her a dry look, which had Casey giggling.

For a slightly homicidal, tragic ninja assassin, Karai seemed alright. You know without the fact that the other girl would delight in the death of her true biological father and Casey’s friends. 

Baby steps had to be taken, she supposed. 

“Viper,” Casey said suddenly. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Your lipstick color,” supplied Casey. “It’s Viper, right? I have a tube somewhere at home.” 

“You know your stuff.” 

“Just red lipstick,” Casey said. “It’s kind of my thing.” 

Karai took a sip of the terrible diner coffee provided for her. The texture was gritty. The milk was not skim. It needed so much sugar to make it palatable to any sensible person. 

It tasted like a moment’s peace. 

Sometimes it was hard to be her father’s pride. The best kunoichi the Foot Clan had ever produced. 

Karai considered Casey Jones. The girl would never be considered beautiful as the way society deemed it. Her bad dye-job, twice broken nose, and overall demeanor had seen to that. But there was something about her: primal and wild and exotic. 

Just because Karai had never faced the other girl in combat doesn’t mean she wasn’t watching. Anything that could be a weapon in the hands of Casey Jones was dangerous. It fell in line with the rumors Karai had heard in the early days of New York on the underground fight club circuits. 

Casey leaving that world didn’t mean she the impression she made disappeared.

It was a puzzle that Karai had to admit an interest in solving. 

“Why do you do this?” asked the kunoichi. When dealing with someone like Casey Jones, it was best to go for the direct approach. “The vigilante stuff?” 

Casey squeezed a bit of lemon into her tea and stirred thoughtfully. 

“At first, it was because I kept getting swept up into the weird shit with Red. Then, the Dragons mugged my sister.” 

“Good job breaking their arms by the way.” 

“I got to them all eventually,” Casey said darkly. “Took some time and planning. But I got to them all.” 

“Can I ask why?” asked Karai. Casey’s preoccupation with the Purple Dragons seemed odd.

“They hit my sister. One of them did. Just made sure that I cast a wide enough net to make the one who did it pay,” murmured the dark haired girl. A pleased grimace graced her mouth with a dark satisfaction.

Karai approved of that thirst for vengeance.

“Then well,” Casey said snapping back. “I found that I was good at it. I’m not that good at a lot of stuff: middle of the road student and all that, so college is out unless I can get a scholarship. And since I don’t think that a lot of schools are clamoring for my slap shot, even though it’s freaking awesome, I had to do something. I liked it and well I liked them.”

Karai felt the flash of anger toward the Turtles flair up.

Casey seemed to sense her anger because she became quiet as the waitress brought them their food. Sitting back further, the girl took a tentative bite of her meal.

“You know. I get it,” she said after a thoughtful chew on her breakfast idea. Karai snorted at that. She really doubted that statement.

Casey seemed to sense that but not take offence. At least, she didn’t seem to take offence to Karai. The girl took a deep sip of her tea, considering Karai with her dark eyes.

“I do. My mother died as well,” she said simply. “I was about twelve.”

Karai swallowed a bit. She tightened her grip on her fork and looked at her food. 

“Did you?” 

“It was cancer. You know I kind of envy you and Red in that regard. It’s kind of sick, I know. You have someone physical to project all that anger toward at least. You have someone there that you can hit and call out and defeat. Me? Mutated cells. I mean what am I supposed to do with that? My Dad was depressed after she died. So I had to take care of my sister too. Which was fine I love my sister and it gave me a purpose.” 

“But the anger was still there,” Karai finished quietly with a dawning awareness.

Casey snapped her fingers and pointed at her. Nibbling on her bacon, she seemed to be gathering her thoughts to continue. 

In a way, she supposed the other girl was right. Having someone to hate, to hold responsible for her mother’s death; it was a good thing for her. It gave her life purpose, allowed her to focus. 

Sometimes though, late at night right before she would fall into a light and uneasy slumber Karai would wonder if this were something her mother would want at all. 

More importantly, she wondered what she would do with herself when she and the Foot had fulfilled the one thing she had been training for her whole life. 

They were troubling thoughts. They were thoughts that, if her father learned about them, could be a gateway to something worse.

Almost as if she read her mind, Casey picked up from her story.

“Once I lost that purpose, once my dad was seeing a doctor and on medication. Once my sister was old enough to hang out with friends instead of me after school. Once a new woman was brought into the picture. I felt like I lost myself a little bit. I defined myself so much by trying to get my family through grief that I never had time to deal with my own. It was fine though because I had someone that I thought I could trust, that I thought would never leave,” Casey chewed a piece of her meal rather viciously. “Until he did that is.”

“What happened?”

“Accidentally gave him a concussion with a hockey stick. After the fact, when he was ignoring me, I found out that he was cheating on me. Got another girl pregnant, or at least that was the rumor. His dad gave the family money and shit to cover it.”

“Why are you even telling me this? You know I’ll use it against you.”

“No more then I already us it against myself, Karai,” Casey said genially. “I’ve had a lot of time lately. Being drawn into this, it’s given me a new perspective on things. Mainly myself and my own issues. I guess what I’m saying is that when you run out of things to do, purposes to have, people to hate…your pain is still going to be there. If you’re like me, then when you finally have to face it you spend six nights out of seven at various underground fight clubs. And the seventh night, you’re drinking and dancing and kissing strangers in bars.”

Casey took another sip on her tea. She closed her eyes as if remembering.

“And then one night, you’ll just snap. You’ll end up at her grave with bruises all over your body and a bit drunk. The ground is muddy and the air is wet because that period of time in spring when it rains all the damn time just really fucking sucks. You’re held back a grade and everyone keeps trying to take care of you. But that’s not right. It’s never right because you’re supposed to take care of them. Inside you know you are hurting these people who for some godforsaken reason love you. Except there you are at five in the fucking morning in front of your mother’s grave: drunk and covered in bruises from fights.”

“Not like I want to know,” Karai said. She attempted to ignore the forming knot in her stomach. The voice in the back of her head that whispered there was truth to what the other girl was saying. “But what happens next?”

Casey opened her eyes. She traced the rim of the cup with her finger and gave Karai a humorless half smile.

“You break. You break like you have never broke before. You shatter. You shout at the stone that won’t respond. You rage and rage and for that one moment you hate them. You hate them for leaving you behind. You hate the person that you thought you could trust, who you thought could be your person. You cry. You cry like you’re a child again. And you hate yourself for it. You immediately regret ever thinking that because you will always love them.”

In that moment, Karai inexplicably thought of Leo. Her stomach clenched again uncomfortably. It wasn’t anger, but some other sort of emotion that she didn’t want to identify with.

“So what? Is your story supposed to convince me to join your merry band of freaks?”

Casey frowned at the usage of the word freaks. But the other girl seemed to decide to ignore Karai’s baiting. 

“No. Not at all. What I’m saying is that you had your whole life defined for you by something out of your control. The issues with that is you have the control. No one can do anything to you, about you without your consent. And if you want to pursue this vendetta then fine. I get it.”

“There’s a but in there.”

“Always is. But I think you want your freedom more. And I think you deserve it: a chance to make your own choices. But if that choice crosses the line between people I love then we’ll have a problem, cupcake.”

“I’ve seen the Halloween make-up you wear, Jones.”

Casey laughed at that: a harsh sound and her smile had entirely too much teeth in it.

“I meant what I said, Karai. You are the maker of your own destiny. No one else. Not even your father,” said the hockey player. “Reason I became a vigilante is not because of some sort of purpose. I fulfilled that when I got even with the Dragons. I did it because I made a conscious choice to do so. It was my own free choice not influenced by anything except that it makes me happy.”

Karai picked at her eggs suddenly feeling her appetite leave her.

Casey stood and threw a couple of bills on the tabletop.

“Just think about what I said, Karai.”

The other girl didn’t answer.

Casey sighed and left her to her thoughts. She still made sure to take the long way home, cutting across rooftops and through some alleyways.

Casey hoped that, eventually, the other girl would find her peace and her freedom.

It was just going to take a long time for Karai to get there.

Not that Casey would judge. Flopping down on her bed, she considered her ceiling.

It had taken her a long time to get to where she was as well. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always for the kudos, hits, and comments. 
> 
> If you have any questions, you can always drop on ask on my tumblr: hopenight.tumblr.com.
> 
> Next up is more Raph and Casey bonding!


End file.
